Help Your Kids Pick Constructive Heroes
Heroes play an important role in a child's development. They can be a source of inspiration and support as kids work to acquire for themselves the qualities that they admire in others.
Our heroes are seen as our role models, so it is important who we bring alongside our children and what we teach them. These are some suggestions for how you can help your children to pick worthy role models and learn from them.
“Train up a child in the way he should go, when he is old he will not turn from it” Proverbs 22:6 TLV.
Helping Your Kids Choose a Hero
Expect young kids to stick close to home. Small children are likely to regard the people they know best as the “bees knees''. Parents, teachers and babysitters are likely candidates. Enjoy the adulation in reverence and live up to their trust.
Be prepared for peer influences among tweens. Around the middle school years, peer influences become stronger. From Beatlemania to Justin Bieber fever, this will be the age when many kids get attached to celebrity icons. So, it is important to be involved. Watch TV and listen to music together. Talk about the effects of advertising and have those real conversations to keep an open communication available as it is needed for your relationship and to ensure healthy relationships for those your child has.
Welcome your teen's independence. As your teen struggles to assert their own identity, they may become attracted to unconventional entertainment personalities and other figures. Respect their need to explore while looking out for their safety. Keeping that communication open and still having a respected relationship with them will allow them to explore their identity while not compromising their relationship if done well. Instilling the love, reverence and relationship with our Father early in life will be rooted in who they are.
Talk about your own heroes. Share your own experiences. You and your kids may laugh about the outdated haircut on your old matinee idol and grow closer over family stories about the kind and courageous things your parents did when you were growing up. We learn from history and from one another, so having that open communication, I learned most of what I wanted and didn’t want for myself from my parents honesty.
Read great literature. Classic fiction is full of characters that deserve our esteem. Give your kids a copy of To Kill a Mockingbird, Fernand the Bull, and stories from scripture; Esther, David & Golliath, Samson & Delilah, Moses, Jonah and so many more.
Keep the Shabbat and the days of the Lord holy. But witnessing and raising your children to be in the presence of the Lord and share the times of family time, you will create traditions and memories that are healthy planted into their hearts for them to keep.
Be a good role model. Your example will have a big impact on the kind of heroes your children choose. Use your powers for good. Strive to live in Avodah, to live humbly yet pursuing your purpose while loving others.
Helping Your Kids Learn From Their Heroes
Accentuate the positive. Even if your child goes wild for a celebrity who seems famous for just being famous, you can find a bright side. Look into their background or charitable activities to discover hidden assets. Help your child to do the same, and help them to recognize what attracts them to a person, while ensuring we don’t take on idols. It is good to look up to others who have good attributes that allow us to grow to be better, but while recognizing the difference.
Examine the consequences of actions. Guide kids in making the connection between causes and results. Look at how much practice Olympic athletes and concert pianists need to succeed.
Encourage compassion. Superheroes and ordinary mortals all have their weaknesses and strengths. When the person your child idolizes gets caught up in a scandal or has a bad hair day, talk about the importance of learning from your mistakes.
Discuss media stories. Society today is saturated with advertising and celebrity news. Go online or watch TV with your kids. Discuss the role of the media and commercial pressures. Share your opinions and listen to your children's concerns.
Point out everyday heroes. Look around your own community and home for the small acts that are actually heroic. Maybe your school has an outstanding teacher who really knows how to communicate with kids. Ask your kids to describe what makes her special.
Offer targeted praise. Take advantage of the hold that heroes have over kids. You can reinforce positive behavior by noticing similarities between your child and the person they want to be like.
Discuss values. Most importantly, approach the subject of heroes as one part of a larger discussion about values. Your kids want and need your guidance to sort out the things they hear in the media and at school. Help keep them on the right path.
By looking up to people who set a good example, your child will have more opportunities to observe and emulate life choices that will increase their happiness and well being. Talk with your kids about the effects of celebrity culture and help them pick heroes who are notable for their good deeds. Help them to live intentionally as you witness and walk beside them in the success of development.
