How to be a Patient Parent
Has there ever been a parent that didn’t lose his or her patience? It doesn’t seem likely. However, like anything else, patience can be cultivated and developed, with some effort and focus.
Patient parents have happier and better-adjusted children. If you’re patient, your children are more likely to be patient with others as well, including your future grandchildren. An increase in your patience helps everyone as it allows us to rest in God and better live in the moment and better care for others and ourselves.
Consider these ideas in striving to become a more patient parent:
Pretend that someone is watching you and your child. This is a classic tip that really works. Everyone’s behavior improves when they believe they have an audience. Maintaining your composure is much more likely if you pretend that someone is watching you or better yet, to live in service to God in all our ways, because really, we don’t have to pretend that someone is watching, because we always have someone watching.
Remind yourself of what it was like to be a child. Sometimes we forget that we were young once, too. If you can see things from your child’s perspective, you’ll be more likely to keep your emotions under control while remembering how precious this time really is. Take a deep breathe and see the pure heart before you and recognize what we look like in that moment to our Father and His grace & love for us. God teaches patience, and if we don’t learn to live it in these moments, the real learning of it later will be much more difficult.
Give yourself a break. Sometimes the smartest move is to disengage for a few minutes. Give yourself a chance to collect yourself and then return with a calm composure. Grace can go a long way. Notice how much better your conduct yourself after taking a few minutes to breath.
Use the opportunity to change their behavior in the long-term. Kids are just kids. We all know they are not perfect. You are their teacher, so use a challenging moment to teach them something valuable.
Demonstrating patience in a tough moment will show your children what patience is like. Point out to them how they can use the same positive techniques for beneficial results.
Do a postmortem with yourself. When the situation is over, ask yourself how you could’ve handled the situation better. Then visualize yourself handling the situation in the new way. If you do this enough times, you patience will continuously improve. This is the road to developing a high level of patience while growing in Avodah.
Keep your eye on the big picture. Kids are designed to be totally unreasonable at times. As adults, most of us keep our behavior within certain limits. Children don’t have the same inhibitions. That’s why your 5 year old can flop on the floor of the store and scream bloody murder. This is not easy for any parent, but we are still in control of the outcome in how we respond.
Count to 10 or take 10 deep breaths. Even better, do both at the same time, you can avoid your initial impulse to overreact and will be able to feel the frustration melting away. Refocus your mind and rest in God’s love for you as you inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth. If you count or pray aloud, your children will also learn when and how to navigate the situation.
Set a goal to be more patient. Intention counts for a lot. Start each day with the intention of being a more patient person in general. Practice patience with everyone in every situation. If you’re a more patient spouse, friend, and employee, you’re bound to be a more patient parent, too.
Having a goal creates a target and helps to bring about focus. It’s challenging to become more patient if you don’t have patience as a goal. Give it a try.
Patience can be nurtured. Put these tips to the test and see how they increase the amount of patience you display with your kids as well as your appreciation for life. As you develop your patience, you’ll discover your relationship with your children strengthening as well as your walk with the Lord.
Patience is a key element to living more intentionally & purposeful, everything else falls as it should. 😉
